A little fun… March 27, 2007
Posted by thelastresort in beginnings.add a comment
Well, as of Sunday, my “fun list” went down one. It wasn’t one that was listed – every gal has to have her secrets;) It was just step one, but for me it was a big step. Although sometimes I surprise even myself. Wish me luck all…
A little fun for once… February 24, 2007
Posted by thelastresort in beginnings, life.2 comments
I have about three started posts, but for whatever reasons have them saved and may salvage them at a later date. But with the changes going on in my life and everyone and their uncle telling me to think about the future, I decided to start a list of things I’d like to try and at least start, if not accomplish, by 2008. The list will be expanding, so check back every one in a while…
1) See and spend a lot of time at the ocean this summer – haven’t been in 11 years and I’ve no excuse, I live on the east coast.
2) Travel. The west coast, Mardi Gras (Well, a little late for that, but plans for next year. For Robbie.) Russia, Egypt, England, somewhere in the South Pacific, warm and wet - oh hell anywhere!! And France (Russia, England, and France are old family stomping grounds – my history). Cambodia, Thailand, Spain, Italy…oh, is there any place I don’t want to visit?
3) Get off the pill merry-go-round that has started again (I went 7 months without pain killers…now I’m living on pain pills, tranquilizers, and sleeping pills. Overwhelming stress will do that to you.
4) Try to resolve things with my mother in a better fashion.
5) Learn to play piano (I took lessons once…) or drums…like Keith Moon 
6) Attempt to return to school, even if it’s one course at a time.
7) Regain some sense of control over my physical health.
8) Try scuba diving. I used to be a good swimmer.
9) Take up photography again. Maybe an art class. The product of two talented painters CANNOT have created offsping that even sucks at pencil stick drawing.
10) Read again, and more. I started this year, but it’s frustrating with the fibro fog, not to mention that I’m sure my meds are affecting my memory and concentration.
11) Be easier on myself.
12) Lose weight – meaning getting in better shape. Not for looks, but for being healthy.
13) Establish/reestablish closer friendships more in line with my way of life.
14) Get more involved with those issues important to me.
15) Live more authentically.
16) Figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
17) Let go of the old me ideas that no longer fit.
18) Get back in touch with my spiritual side.
19) Learn to Tango!
20) Learn Arabic … how’s that for reaching for the stars from someone who took 5 years of French and can barely remember how to say …oh geez, I can’t even remember how to spell in French!
21) My God!!! How could I have forgotten??? I have wanted to learn how to fly since I was 6 years old!!!
I’ll expand on these and add to them in the future. Right now, I’d like to get some rest. Any suggestions?
Beginnings… January 11, 2007
Posted by thelastresort in Mom, beginnings, cancer, writing.2 comments
Beginnings, and approaching endings, have never been easy for me – whether they were something as difficult as personal relationships, or academic, like when I would start a term paper the night before it was due (and always manage to ace it). In the past few years my writing has become much more difficult for me, partially due to fibro fog (from my Fibromyalgia) and I’m sure partially from letting my brain …well, for lack of a better word, rot. In a distant past I was constantly writing – research papers, correspondence, and of course, tons of journal writing. I was much more articulate in those days. Much more intelligent. Realistically, I know the intelligence and articulateness are still there (perhaps just sleeping?). But, DAMN, I sure feel stupid these days. So if you are reading this, and read further posts, please bear with me. Thus begins the blog.
Endings are another thing though. My mother has advanced pancreatic cancer, diagnosed in early December. Short of a miracle (and I am praying for one), we’re on limited time. How limited varies from doctor to doctor and whether she decides to continue treatment. To say I am not dealing well with this is an understatement. In the past my journals have been my sounding boards, my place to try and make sense of the world. Maybe this blog will help.
I can’t promise myself, or any friends who might read this that this will be stimulating reading worthy of being printed in the New Yorker or some semi-Socialist magazine, but maybe we’ll all see the writer in me reemerge. And maybe, by dealing with what is going on in my life, I’ll grow as a person (or so everyone keeps telling me…one more person tells me how well I’m handling my mother’s illness and I swear I’m going to scream). Or maybe we’ll all just witness a REALLY bad personal meltdown.
I do owe all reading this a warning. I can be an opinionated, stubborn, bitch sometimes (okay, most of the time) and my writing will reflect that. I used to be one hell of a writer when it came to politics and religion. I hope to be again. Soon.
Another note – I am the village idiot when it comes to computers, blogs, etc. So it may be a while before this things resembles anything worth really looking at:)
